Ron Weasly and the Missing Toothbrush
by Daisy Brambleburr
Summary: A short, humorous story in which Ron looses his toothbrush, and it turns up with someone very unexpected! Laughs graunteed 100%, please review on your way out!


Ron Weasly and the Missing Toothbrush  
  
"Harry, have you taken my toothbrush again?"   
  
Harry looked round at Ron who was standing at his wash basin, which was completely devoid of his toothbrush.   
  
"Why on earth would I want to take your toothbrush Ron," Harry said, sighing and rolling his eyes.  
  
"Well it was here yesterday," Ron said defiantly, getting on his hands and knees to check under the sink.  
  
"Perhaps Hermione took it," Harry suggested.  
  
"Of course!" Ron exclaimed, a devilish glint appearing in his eyes. "She never did forgive me when I spilt milk on her text book!"  
  
"Ron, I was only...." Harry began, but Ron was already charging up the staircase to the girls' bathrooms.   
  
A few seconds a high pitched shriek was heard. Harry threw down his hairbrush and chased after Ron. In the girls bathroom he saw Lavender passed out on the floor and Parvati trying to wake her up, giving Ron evil glances every few seconds.   
  
"What happened?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well, I walked in and Lavender was just about to shower..."  
  
"OK, OK, I get the picture." Harry said, stopping him in mid sentence.  
  
"Where's Hermione?" Ron asked Parvati.  
  
"Oh, she's probably studying." Parvati said, squeezing a damp flannel over Lavenders forehead. As her eyes began to open Ron made a bolt for the door and Harry quickly followed. They didn't want to be anywhere near Lavender when she woke up. They drew to a halt next to a statue of 'Boris the Bored' and stopped to draw breath.  
  
"Ron, its only a toothbrush, can't we just forget it? You can easily get a new one tomorrow," Harry said.   
  
"No way! Its not that I want the toothbrush back, it's that I want to catch the git who stole it!" Ron said, peering around the statue to check that no one was coming. "Right. If I was Hermione where would I be?"  
  
Harry raised his eyebrows at Ron.   
  
"The Library."  
  
Ten minutes later they were in the library. Ron spotted Hermione sitting at a table in the corner, up to her nose in books.  
  
"Right," Ron said, crossing his arms and striding up to her.  
  
"Oh, hello Ron. Have you come to study for your potions exam too?" She asked brightly.  
  
"No I have not. Hermione, have you been anywhere near the boys bathrooms lately?" he asked, sitting on the table with his arms crossed.   
  
"Well of course I haven't Ron. Honestly, why on earth would you ask me that?" she said, looking puzzled.  
  
"Something went missing you see. Something very important..."  
  
"His toothbrush," Harry finished.  
  
"His toothbrush?" Hermione asked.  
  
"His toothbrush."  
  
"Can we stop saying 'his toothbrush' now?" Ron said, looking frustrated. "Hermione, I have reasons to believe that you have stolen it."   
  
"For goodness sake Ron, why would I want your toothbrush? I have a perfectly good one of my own. You probably just lost it. Why don't we go to Hogsmeade tomorrow and get you a nice new one?"   
  
"I don't WANT a new one! I want MY OLD one!" Ron said sulkily, slouching in his chair.  
  
"OK, OK, I'll help you find it. When did you last see it?" Hermione asked, slamming her books shut.  
  
"Last night."   
  
"And who do you think has a grudge against you? Who do you think would really want to HURT you?" she continued, trying not to laugh. Ron however was taking it very seriously.  
  
"Malfoy."  
  
"To the Slytherin common room!" Harry said triumphantly.  
  
After getting hopelessly lost they finally found the entrance to the common room.   
  
"Right Hermione. What's the password?" Ron asked.  
  
"Me? How do you expect me to know it?" Hermione retorted angrily.   
  
"Well you're supposed to be smart. It makes sense that you should know it." Ron said.  
  
"No it does not!"  
  
"Yes it does!"  
  
"Shut up you two! I suggest we hide around this corner and wait for Malfoy to come. Then we can question him and get your bloody toothbrush back." Harry said, pulling them behind a wall.  
  
They stood there for a long time but no one came into the common room.  
  
"Where are they all?" Harry said angrily.  
  
"Hopefully committing mass suicide."  
  
"RON!"  
  
Just then they heard footsteps coming around the corner and a surly looking Slytherin sixth year came and said the password to the large wooden doors. "Gryfindors must die," she grunted. The doors slid open and in she went.  
  
'Right, lets go!" Ron exclaimed excitedly, jumping out and standing infront of the entrance.  
  
"Gryffindors must...ahem...die," he muttered. The doors slid open and they all hurriedly entered. The room was packed with Slytherins and they quickly made their way to the staircase that probably lead to the dormitories.   
  
"Right Ron. In and out in 30 seconds. Me and Hermione will wait outside," Harry whispered, checking his watch.  
  
"Right. Off I go." Ron set his face and began to run up the staircase.  
  
Harry and Hermione stealthily ran out of the room and waited in the shadows for Ron to come out.   
  
"He's been over a minute Harry." Hermione said anxiously, peering at the door.   
  
To think we're doing all this for a poxy little toothbrush," Harry said to himself.  
  
Just then the door flew open and Ron tumbled out. He had a large red mark just above his eye, and his hair was standing on end. Hermione rushed out to him.   
  
"Ron! What on earth happened?" she exclaimed.  
  
"Stupid bloody Slytherins caught me," he groaned, touching his eye gingerly.  
  
"Come on, let's get you to the Hospital Wing," Harry said.  
  
"No way! I'm not giving up," Ron said stubbornly. "Who ever has taken my toothbrush is not going to get away with it."  
  
"OK, but let's get out of here before the Slytherins come to finish you off properly," Hermione said, taking his arm and leading him away.  
  
They finally got back to the Entrance Hall and sat down on the marble staircase to think of what to do next.   
  
"Well it wasn't me, it wasn't Harry and it wasn't Malfoy." Hermione counted people off on her fingers. "Who else might have taken it?"  
  
"I know!" Ron said, jumping on to his feet in realisation.  
  
"Who? Who?" Harry and Hermione asked, getting up too.  
  
"Snape!"  
  
"Oh God," Harry said.  
  
A while later they were all outside Snapes office.   
  
"Ron, how the hell are you planning to get in there?" Harry hissed.  
  
"I don't know. Any ideas?" he said, looking hopefully at Hermione.   
  
"Well, you could get a detention..." she began.  
  
"Excellent!" Ron exclaimed, and before Harry or Hermione could stop him he had opened his mouth and shouted as loud as he could; "SNAPE IS AN UGLY GIT WITH AN OUTSIZE NOSE!"  
  
Harry shot a horrified look at Hermione, then they ran as fast as they could away from Snapes office. They hid themselves in an empty classroom just in time to see Ron being dragged into Snapes office. Ron gave them a large grin and thumbs up sign.  
  
"He's gone mad!" Harry signed, sitting down on the floor.  
  
"That, or he really loved his toothbrush," Hermione replied.  
  
After an hours wait Ron finally came out of Snapes office with a distinctively green face.   
  
"I don't believe him!" he exclaimed, slumping on the floor next to Harry. "He made me clean out all the cauldrons. I was lucky he had to go and see Dumbledore or I'd have been there all night."  
  
"Ron, I think you had better face it. Your toothbrush is gone," Hermione said gently.   
  
"I don't care about that stupid thing anymore! But I wonder who took it..." Ron pondered.  
  
"Ron, we are NOT coming with you on any more stupid 'missions.'" Harry said firmly.  
  
"OK, I'll stop now," Ron said wearily. "Let's go to bed."   
  
Harry and Hermione exchanged relived glances, and they all made their way to their dormitories.   
  
Later that night, Ron lay awake wondering where on earth his toothbrush had got to. Eventually, he sighed and rolled over onto his back.  
  
"I guess I'll never know," he said to himself, shutting his eyes and falling asleep.  
  
Meanwhile, in a dark house upon a hill, lightning forked across the sky as the rain beat down viciously upon the windows as it is apt to do in stories like this.  
  
Lord Voldemort sat in a large, high-backed chair, holding something in his hand. He laughed evilly as thunder rolled menacingly outside.   
  
"At last, I have what I have always needed."  
  
Wormtail sat crouched at his side.   
  
"What is it my Lord?" he hissed, rubbing his hands together gleefully.  
  
"The thing I have been searching for all my life."  
  
"You have Harry Potter, my lord?"  
  
Voldemort laughed mockingly.   
  
"No, not Harry Potter. I have no need for him anymore. No, I have a gift from a redhead," he said, smiling at his own cunning and pure deviousness.   
  
"This small thing holds such power that I will be bought back to my original strength. I will be powerful once again! All shall fear Lord Voldemort!" with that, Voldemort stretched out his arm, and held it high above his head. Lightning flashed through the room, and clearly visible, held firmly in Voldemorts fist was Ron Weaslys white and blue toothbrush.   
  
-*- 


End file.
